Becoming 25: Different But Not Older
I felt different, but not so much older. I woke expecting to feel disgruntled and old, but instead I felt confident and adult-like. I found myself doing things that I wasn't able to do before that day. For those of you that don't know, I suffer from social anxiety, general anxiety, and on top of that, I'm a shy introvert. Some of you are sitting there going, "She's definitely not shy..." However, you'd be surprised how shy I can get around people I don't know. So, when I say things I wasn't able to do, I'm referring to things like calling/talking on a phone, talking to complete strangers, and just being a more confident person. I didn't really think about it consciously. It wasn't a personal decision to change. For some reason, I felt like a whole new person and I enjoyed the difference.
So far, the change has decided to stick. I'm noticing a change in the way I handle myself. I'm giving myself more permission to be out there and take those chances I wouldn't necessarily have taken before and it feels great.
Now, do I expect all positive results? No, not at all. It's important to note that I'm not being negative here or pessimistic, but realistic. Just because I feel more confident, doesn't mean I won't have rejections, off days, and inner turmoil over every day decisions. I know that I'm going to have all of these, but I also know that I'm not going to give up or be scared away from challenges.
In the spirit of all of these recent internal changes, I thought I'd look back on all the things/lessons I've learned over these past 25 years. Below, you'll find my list of things I wish to pass on to others. It may not be important how I learned these lessons, but if I can pass them on without others having to go through the hard part of learning, then I made a difference.
Lessons:
1. You can't make people love you.
2. Other people's opinions of you have no reflection on your own self-worth. You. Have. Value.
3. Don't try to change people because you can't and they won't.
4. You can't control everything. Acceptance is a greater power anyway.
5. Anything you say to criticize yourself shouldn't be said if you wouldn't say it to a 5 year old.
6. Do things for yourself and not for anyone else. Do it for self-love.
7. It's okay to say "no" if "yes" will hurt you. You don't have to please everyone all the time.
8. Act through love and not fear. If you're acting out of fear chances are it's not right.
9. Treat your body like a temple. It's corny, but it's so true. You only have one.
10. You don't have to be perfect to be loved. You really really don't.
11. You teach people how you want to be treated. Don't let people get away with everything.
12. You don't have to do everything by yourself. It's okay to ask. People will want to help.
13. Don't settle for something because you're afraid something better won't come along.
14. Being different is what is going to get you far. Don't struggle to be normal.
15. People will show you how much they care. Listen to them. Watch them.
16. Only person you ever compete with is yourself. Everyone else is running a separate race.
17. Be happy with what you have and know that what you don't have is irrelevant.
18. People will let you down, and that's okay. If you let yourself down, that's okay too.
19. You can't hold people to high standards if you don't hold yourself to the same ones.
20. We all show love in a different way. If it's not your way, it's not that they don't love you.
21. "Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it"
22. Stop going back to people who don't try to be in your life. The only one it hurts is you.
23. Everyone has an opinion and everyone's opinion is their reality. Respect that.
24. Your thoughts are only as strong as you allow them to be.
25. ALWAYS check the stall first for toilet paper before you commit to a toilet.
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